How can I prepare to tell my kids about my divorce?

Whether you have one, two or ten children the thought of telling them that you and their other parent are going to get divorced may well cause you great angst. This is understandable and many New Jersey parents have walked in your shoes before. While this is admittedly a difficult thing to do, it is not impossible and there are some things you can do to help make it more emotionally balanced for your children.

One thing Parents magazine recommends is that you think carefully about what you want to say and that you even consider rehearsing it to a point. You might even want to make notes for yourself so that you do not forget points you know you want to make. Even though only one spouse might have initiated the divorce, when you tell your kids, it is best to position things as though getting a divorce was a mutual decision. Children will feel more supported if they get the sense that their parents are of like mind in these matters.

Along the same lines, it is advisable for you and your spouse to be together when you tell your kids about the divorce. Not only does this continue the united front theme but it also prevents the kids from playing the “he-said-she-said” game later on.

This information is not intended to provide legal advice but is instead meant to help New Jersey parents preparing for a divorce to learn how they can most compassionately break this news to their children and support their kids through the discussions that will ensue.