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Are you sending the wrong message on social media during divorce?

Going through a divorce can be difficult. People often feel stressed out, angry, afraid, sad, and sometimes lonely. To find support and companionship, many folks get online and connect with others through social media. 

This can seem harmless, but if you are not careful, you could wind up sending the wrong message to others. And in some cases, the message you send could adversely affect your divorce.

What happens to debt during the property division in divorce?

Going through a divorce is never easy, and some of the most challenging divorce-related procedures involve children and assets. When there are significant debts that form part of the property division process, it becomes even more challenging. New Jersey is a common-law state, which means that assets and debts are divided equitably, and this process will involve determining whether debts are separate or marital.

Certain debts might be regarded as marital debt. These include child care, utilities and mortgage or rent, and couples will have to reconcile these debts during the divorce. Of course, if a prenuptial or postnuptial agreement that addresses debts is in place, they might escape debt-related contention in the divorce.

Avoid child custody conflict -- add these to the parenting plan

Whenever parents in New Jersey or elsewhere decide to divorce, establishing a parenting plan is an important part of this challenging process, even if it is an amicable breakup. Sometimes, adding things that seem insignificant in the child custody agreement now might avoid contention later. Including those topics to the parenting plan can make it easier for the child to adjust to the new dynamics.

Some examples include whether parents agree that rules such as homework, bedtime, video gaming and other similar activities will be the consistent in both homes. Also, will clothes and other things bought by one parent stay in that parent's home, or will the child be free to take it along to the other parent's home? An often-forgotten aspect involves child care or babysitters when one parent has other obligations during his or her parenting time. If it is agreed that the other parent will have first right of refusal, it must be stated as such in the parenting plan

Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan's child custody terms

There is no shortage of media reports about the divorce of Channing Tatum and Jenna Dewan. Some people in New Jersey might have questions about the meaning of the terms used concerning the child custody arrangements of these celebrities. The terms "co-parenting counseling" and "custody schedule" might be familiar, but what does "image, name and likeness" mean?

When parents, married or unmarried, end their relationship, a plan must be devised to establish a parenting plan. This will determine when and where the child will be in the care of each parent. Parents whose relationships end amicably typically find it easier to agree on parenting arrangements, and they are usually more flexible to accommodate the changing circumstances of both parents and their children.

Divorce is a time to surround yourself with professional advisers

Ending marriages in New Jersey has come to be part of the lives of many, and for that reason, there is never a shortage of unqualified advisers. Each divorce has unique circumstances, and what applied to one person may not apply to his or her friend who is going through a divorce. Although the moral support of friends and family during this time is crucial, it is a good idea to utilize the skills of professionals with legal and related aspects.

In many divorces, spouses struggle to look past emotional assets, while "winning" those assets do not typically provide long-term benefits. Financial advisers can help with reviewing, prioritizing and categorizing expenses to establish a cash flow plan, and help with determining the financial matters that need immediate attention and those that are better dealt with later. It is never a good idea to make significant financial decisions driven by emotions instead of practicality and appropriate consideration.

Sometimes, mixing money and romance ends in divorce

Although money might be the furthest thing from the minds of two people in love, it is a subject for discussion if the relationship is serious. Many marriages in New Jersey and across the country have ended in divorce over financial disagreements. Relationship advisers recommend open and honest discussions about spending, saving, investing, debts and financial independence before saying, "I do."

Entering a marriage typically leads to buying a house, having children and raising a family, and in some cases, one or both spouses may become involved in a business venture. All these goals involve money and finances, and couples need to work together to reach their goals. For that reason, discussing preferences and roles from the onset can avoid contention later. Whether finances are kept separate or dealt with on a "yours, mine and ours" basis is up to the couple, as long as they are on the same page.

Divorce: Social media addiction as powerful as alcohol or drugs

When does social media start to threaten a marriage? In most cases in which one spouse becomes addicted to drugs or alcohol, the threat becomes real when the source of the addiction becomes that person's primary focus. Social media has developed into a similar risk. Many marriages in New Jersey have ended in divorce because one spouse's use of social media has gone beyond interacting with other users, exchanging messages, and sharing views and opinions.

When one spouse spends excessive time on social media, it can compromise communication. Before long, minor issues that are not discussed and resolved can become significant issues. Social media addiction can cause the other spouse to feel neglected, and all kinds of suspicions can lead to jealousy.

Do the courts consider a parent’s sex in custody decisions?

There’s an idea in our society in custody disputes that the courts will favor a child’s mother more often. Unless this is the wish of you and your family, a court will take many factors when making their decision. None of these factors listed include the sex of the parent.

The reality is that what a court ruled in your neighbor or coworker’s custody case won’t necessarily be the same thing. Their family likely had their own unique factors that led to the creation of their own unique agreement. Your custody agreement should also be as unique as your family.

Holiday season challenges of child custody and parenting time

With proper planning, divorced parents in New Jersey and across the country can make sure that the holiday season remains "the most wonderful time of the year," just like the classic Andy Williams song from 1963. The first step would be to check the most recent child custody court order to be clear which parent is scheduled to have the children, and when. Changes can be made by agreement, but it's best to plan ahead. Discussing holiday plans with the other parent is best done well in advance, and involving the children in the planning -- at least to some extent -- can help them to adjust to the new family dynamics.

Posting a calendar with notes to remind the kids of the arrangements is a good idea. For many families, the holidays are the only time when children can spend time with aunts, uncles, cousins and other extended family members. However, working them into the plans may be impossible, which makes being flexible crucial. Fostering the bonds between the children and family members of both sides will typically be in the best interests of the children.

Online divorce might not be as easy as promised

Times have changed, and the list of services available online is endless. However, in some cases, DIY is not necessarily easier or cheaper. For anyone in New Jersey who is thinking about navigating a divorce through an online service, it might be a good idea to first gain an understanding of the intricacies of the process and the pros and cons of going that route. It's important to consider these issues carefully because even an online divorce can have financial consequences.

Sometimes, what starts as an uncontested divorce can become contentious down the road. While the online service might imply that it is merely a process of filling out the appropriate forms to file with the court, it is seldom that clear-cut. Issues typically arise when it comes to matters related to child custody, and in many cases, even pet custody is an issue. Also, if the spouses agree to share custody of the children, agreeing on which parent will have the children when could lead to arguments.

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