2 issues that can easily stall child custody negotiations (and how to avoid them)

Photo of attorney Melinda L. Singer

Most partners don’t decide to have kids, only to end up splitting. It’s unlikely that anyone would want to make their child go through such a thing. Life isn’t always predictable, and situations like this may arise. 

Many parents will sit down and broker an agreement between themselves to exchange custody of their child without getting anyone else involved. Those conversations don’t always go as seamlessly as they expect. There are a few different reasons such negotiations may fall off track

Someone tries to relive the past

Parents who try to convert conversations about co-parenting into discussions about how one another contributed to the demise of their relationship run the risk of never reaching an agreement with their ex. You should instead keep things focused on the matter at hand. This time the discussion isn’t about you; it regards your kids.

One parent can’t stop criticizing the other

Conversations that evolve into ones about the quality of each others’ parenting skills may also not result in any agreement. In fact, your ex may purposely avoid compromising simply as a way of punishing you for having made such comments. There are always tactful ways of saying things. You may want to embrace that approach to avoid stalling custody negotiations. 

What you should focus on when negotiating a parenting plan

You will want to focus wholly on what’s in your child’s best interests when sitting down to negotiate with your ex. That’s what the judge presiding over your child custody case will look for when looking at the agreement you two develop. Judges generally prefer when both parents receive as close to equal parenting time with their child. An attorney can share with you ideas about your parenting plan that best protects your child’s interests.

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