Settling your children into the new custody arrangement

Photo of attorney Melinda L. Singer

Although getting a divorce was the best thing for your family, there is still going to be an adjustment period. Not only are you and your spouse going to have to get used to living apart, but your children are going to have to assimilate to the new family dynamic.

By working as a team, you and your co-parent can still give your children everything that they need. Outlined below are a few practical tips for helping your children settle into the new custody arrangement.

Make transitions easier

One of the most important things to get right as co-parents is transitions. It can be stressful to let your child go, even if it’s only for a short time. Try to remember that it is usually beneficial for children to have a relationship with both parents when possible. Despite the issues in your marriage, you know that your ex loves the kids just as much as you do, and this is what matters.

No fighting

Issues are bound to arise at some point, that’s just life. What matters is how you address these issues. Never fight in front of the kids. If you and your ex have to clear the air, then do it in private where there is no chance of the children overhearing. Conflict can be very damaging for kids, and they are inclined to blame themselves when parents fight.

When you and your ex are at loggerheads, it’s important to remember the one thing that you have in common, the welfare of your children. By focussing on this and having supportive legal guidance behind you, you can make a success out of co-parenting post-divorce.

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